Go Big or Go Home


It’s very rare that I take on any kind of home improvement project.  There are several reasons for this, including:

1) I am very easily overwhelmed,

2) I am a procrastinator,

3) I have very little money

4) I have 1-year old twins

5) I have ADD (I think)

But the biggest reason is that once I start a project, I notice more and more things that need to get done which makes a project that should take an hour or two go on for days.  Like if I’m cleaning a room, I’ll start by saying I need to get rid of all the papers/garbage.  Then without all the papers on the floor, it becomes more obvious that the carpet needs to be vacuumed.  Then I vacuum the carpet and it becomes glaringly obvious that the baseboards are scuffed and need a coat of paint and why did I bother with the garbage, papers and carpet just to look at dirty baseboard? This goes on for days, until the walls are painted, there are new blinds/curtains, and maybe a mural painted on the wall.  It’s as if I’ve wasted my time doing something if I don’t do everything, so I go all out.   So I don’t do anything, because who has time to do everything?

Last week, my mom took me shopping at the Home Depot because she felt that S and I needed a new bathroom sink.  She insisted on buying a sink and a faucet as a Valentine’s gift to us.  Whether or not it’s normal for adults to get Valentine’s gifts from their parents, let alone a bathroom sink as one, is another topic, but I suspect no.  So as S and I are in the bathroom (which is a very tiny eyesore that has not been painted or altered in anyway since I moved in with him 7 years ago – the color he chose whenever he first painted must have been called ‘Yellow-ing’) and I get the idea to paint when he removes the old sink because there is no better time to paint than when large items are out of the way.

Day 1

So S leaves for work and I drag my children out in a cold drizzle to buy paint.  I paint during nap time and decide my new taupe walls are making the trim look even more ‘Yellow-ing’ than they did next to the old walls.  When S gets home from work, I ask him to please find the trim paint so I can paint it the next day.

Day 2

I use the next nap time to paint the trim a beautiful bright white.  Of course with the trim and walls done, the floor needs to be cleaned big time, so I get on my hands and knees with a bucket full of Orange Mr. Clean (which BTW seems like a really bad idea to have in a house with small children – this stuff smells delicious and looks like orange drink.  I am half tempted to put it in a glass over ice, so I can only imagine what my kids would think when they saw/smell this stuff.  A frightening thought and I make a mental note to toss it and buy a lock for the cabinet with the cleaning products).  So I scrub at the floor then rinse it with a fresh rag and water.

When they get up from their nap, we have lunch and get ready to go out because with new walls and trim and a clean floor, we obviously need to get a new shower curtain.  And probably curtains and new blinds because nothing shows off how old and faded the blinds are like freshly painted white trim.  We went to Kohl’s and Target, and three hours later, I was in possession of two new shower curtains.  Hooray!

Day 3

There is no morning nap, so sadly, nothing gets done in the bathroom.  But as soon as we’re ready to go, get the kids in the car and we head to the  craft store because I have a brilliant idea to use scrapbooking paper and cheap frames to make decorative art.  After a beautiful meltdown from Jack in the middle of the unexpectedly crowded craft store (evidently, women purchase things to make their sweethearts for V-day [barf]), we head home.  I put about 30 nails in the bathroom wall trying to find the perfect configuration for four small frames.  I’m not overly thrilled with the results, but it’s grown on me in the last few days.  The twins are still refusing to nap and the lack of sleep is definitely making them cranky.  I stop working for the day because I just can’t do it with the steady stream of whining coming from the hallway where they are ‘playing’.

After dinner, S and I go to home depot and get white fake-wood blinds which look freaking awesome in the bathroom.  They are so nice, in fact, that I refuse to put curtains over them.  They are fabulous on their own!

Day 4

S’s day off

I am losing steam.  We have 3 appointments and once again, there is no morning nap.  By appointment #3, the twins are losing it and so is the frazzled, miserable woman who is supposed to be getting their weights.  I try to apologize because when the b*tch lady puts Jack on the scale he shrieks and attempts to leap off the table.  I catch him, continuing to make excuses for why he’s so upset/scared (excuses that don’t point out that he is probably afraid of her) but as soon as the words ‘no nap’ slip out of my mouth I get a glare like I am that woman who makes her child swish hot sauce around in his mouth for 5 minutes and then throws him in a cold shower.  It was just a really busy day!  It happens!  I honestly want to punch this woman right in her face.

They won’t nap when we get home either.  S takes them to his parents’ house (a terrible idea, but he insists) and I stay home, finish painting the trim, make dinner and open a bottle of wine.  Ahhhh…

Day 5

Towel rack and decorative touches go up, bathroom is as complete as it can be…for now.  We need a new toilet and when we get one, we will retile the floor and put new dry wall up on the ceiling.  But it will be easier to work with the toilet out.  Believe me, I have lost a little bit of sleep over the bathroom not being completely done, but I’m trying to deal.


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