the things they say

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Having twins unexpectedly elevated me to celebrity status in places like malls and grocery stores.   It’s getting a little better now that they’re older, but at first it was very difficult to get through my shopping list without a small crowd of people gathering around me every time I stopped to select a can of corn or whatever.  It was weird because twins seem to be pretty common these days.  But if people tend to ooh and ahh over newborn singletons, twins seem to get double the excitement.  Not that it bothered me – after spending so many years wanting to be a mother, I was quite pleased and proud to stroll around with my tiny babies and I gladly accepted the attention.  The only drawback was that I spent so much time talking that I rarely got through a shopping trip without one or both babies having a complete meltdown.  Then I’d be stuck with screeching babies, a cart full of groceries and a LOOOONG checkout line.  Interesting how the looks on the faces of our fellow shoppers changed when they were stuck in line behind my screaming twins.  The wistful look of envy from the woman who (*sigh*) ‘always wanted twins’ turned to a grimace of horror.  I could practically hear her thinking, ‘Get me the hell out of here.” HA!

So, I thought I’d devote this post to the most frequent comments/questions we’ve gotten during the million-and-two shopping trips we’ve taken.

1. ‘Do twins run in your family?’

Probably the most FAQ.  Now maybe it’s the overly sensitive infertile in me, but this question always made me nervous.  I used to say no, then panic and start babbling about hormonal imbalance, bum ovaries, fertility drugs, and (*gasp*) insemination.  Over time, I realized (from the looks of discomfort and confusion) that they were probably just being chatty when asking the question on the first place.  So I’ve adjusted my answer accordingly.  I say, ‘No, we just got lucky.’  Nice, neat, and TRUE. 🙂

2. ‘You really have your hands full, don’t you.’

Almost everyone says this.  Well, duh!  But I think every parent has their hands full – it comes with the job!  In fact, I would wonder about any parent of a newborn/infant/toddler who doesn’t feel like they have their hands full.  I guess there are probably some of them out there, but I’ve never come across any in real life.

3. ‘Are they identical?’

There are a shocking number of people who don’t know that identical twins have to be the same gender.  So now I say (jokingly), ‘No, one has a penis.’

4.  ‘You got it all done at once!/That’s great, you don’t have to have any more!/I guess you’re finished then…’

I find this baffling.  When people see I have boy/girl twins, their next comment is ALWAYS along those lines.  When I say that I’d love to have one more, people look at me like I’m nuts.  Some have actually commented that I’m nuts.  When has having one of each gender meant that parents couldn’t possibly want another child?  These comments make me feel guilty because I would LOVE to have one more baby.  No, I probably won’t have any more, but it’s not because I don’t want another.  It’s because I’ve had enough of fertility treatments for one life time and there is no chance of a surprise pregnancy for someone who doesn’t ovulate on her own.  So these comments make me mad and sad.  But I usually just smile and say, ‘Yes, we’re done.’

5.  ‘Did you have fertility treatments, or are they, you know, from God?’

Okay, this little gem was (thankfully) only asked once but it was memorable.  My answer at the time was to get redfaced and say some incoherent thing about taking some fertility drugs. What do I wish I said to her?  ‘Both, you rude old lady!!’

Of course they're from God 🙂

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